Jul 28, 2010

Rob Pattinson: Blow up! - underwear?

Ok so I had posted a link to the video showing the relentless paparazzi holding a camera 3 feet (if that) from his face just continual flashes and filming. Horrible, offensive, disrespectful, are a few words that come to mind. A few others do to but I don't want to get in trouble for seriously bad language.

I watched the whole video. They literally were waiting there so they could follow him to find out where he lives. Where he freakin' LIVES. You know, it amazes me that there are stalking laws up the wazoo (thankfully) but NOTHING to protect celebrities from constant harassment and people completely disrespecting personal space.

I must be missing something. In the video Rob actually went up to 2 police officers who in turn (I believe) told him they couldn't do a thing. Someone explain to me why that is? I don't want to hear any bull$hit about freedom of the press. That is taking something and stretching it to fit those peoples sick needs. If a woman was walking down the street (a regular NON-celebrity) and a group of men (because from what I've seen MOST of the paparazzi are men) were surrounding this woman, making her feel unsafe - threatening to follow her home so they could STALK her some more - flashed cameras in her face, etc... you are going to tell me that there is NOTHING that can be done about that?? I would love to do an experiment and get about 15 guys of different ages, sizes and backgrounds.. stick a camera and/or camcorder in their hand and tell them to just pick someone off the street and follow them relentlessly. My suspicion is THEY WOULD BE ARRESTED. I don't understand - and if someone does know - please enlighten me because I'm so offended at this my eyes are almost popping out of their sockets. I say this because I'm an actress, and NO not even one iota or even in the general vicinity of celeb status .. but I imagine if I did get there.. and this was me. Dear God, I'd turn into Sean Penn and punch someone in the noggin!

Let's move on to something less serious - but just as stupid..

Everyone and I mean EVERYONE is trying to make a buck off of the Twilight phenominoa and / or Rob. Some things I remember (just off the top of my head)
~seeing commericals for Volvos showing Edward (Rob) from Twilight - trying to sell some cars
~Burger King has happy meals with Eclipse stuff in it ... what the 2 have to do with each other? no clue
~Lip venum - some bloody color lipgloss relating to bloody vampire lips
~Sparkle body powder - so that you can sparkle like Edward...

to name a few..

Yet, what do we have now???

Robert Pattinson To Get Underwear Range
But will he be modelling them himself?...

According to reports, after Rob was spotted buying some pants in one of the stores, the company has decided to launch a range of briefs in his honour.

Sadly for us, Contactmusic.com has reported that Rob has declined to offer to model the underwear but even the prospect of seeing Rob in his kecks has tipped us over the edge and made things like speaking slightly problematic...

Back to the matter at hand, those bright young things at M&S have decided to called the range of underwear 'R-Pant', the worse play on words EVER and claim the range will be aimed at young men.

The head of merchandising for M&S stated: "Over the last three years we've seen an increase in the popularity of hipsters. The new range is designed to appeal to a young, fashion-savvy customer."

Oli Arnold, style director of Men's Health magazine told MTV News: "I hate seeing the waistbands of men's pants poking out of the top of their jeans. Do Marks and Spencer even sell skinny jeans? Maybe lots of women will buy them for their husbands and boyfriends though."

Will you buy the man in your life some R-Pants or has the Robsession gone too far this time?!

After he was buying undies then what happens? Company finds out and cashes in on it. And they are calling them "R-Pant." I.... er.... sigh... I bow my head and shake it back and forth because the words aren't coming to me. Rob declined to model them - BIG SURPRISE!

Hey all you companies out there - from what I HEAR.. (looking around sneakily) Rob buys toothpaste, soap, socks, and get this... TOILET PAPER!!

Designing... BEGIN!

Jul 27, 2010

Rob Pattinson - they took the video offline

More to come .. but the video link doesn't work anymore.. big surprise .. makes the paparazzi look like dinks!

Rob Pattinson: This is appauling

I don't even know what to comment on this - I'm so angry about it that I need time to be able to write a scathing commentary about this video.

Jul 26, 2010

Rob Pattinson: HA, I was right! Leave him alone.

Okee dokee - so of course the usual paparazzi are following him all over God's creation.. and surprise surprise - he's ANNOYED!

Headlines had titles like this & littered the internet:

Robert Pattinson's Paparazzi Fury

Robert Pattinson Reaches His Paparazzi Boiling Point

This blurb was in all of the articles (notice the yellow as to what he SAID):

An onlooker in Venice tells, "Robert got really upset seeing photographers waiting outside for his picture and following him home, as he stopped twice asking the photographers to leave him alone."
Notice what I highlighted in yellow? Look at those 3 words... are they NOT similar to my blog website? Umm.. why yesiree they are! Which makes me want to run scream "told ya so, told ya so!" But, I won't do that... a lot.

The poor guy is out and about and KA-POW.. paparazzi everywhere! I'll show a few of the pictures only to prove how OBNOXIOUS these people are..

The 3rd one really pisses me the he// off! Seriously dude? You do realize that these aren't even professional photographers anymore. These are yahoo's that have a camera and want to earn a quick buck. These guys follow are Rob (and other celebs) to find out where they live, where they are going, who they are with and hoping to God to get a shot of said celeb doing something horrible or gross or something unusual so they can get the most money they can while making the celeb look like a jacka$$. Honorable profession, no?


I saw some headlines such as this:


Robert Pattinson Spotted In The Company Of An Older Woman

Which the rumor originally was his Mother - and now is his manager. Because I don't stalk the man I have NO idea what either look like. I'm sure I've seen them in pictures with him but have no burned their images to my retina. None the less, he goes to a movie with another person and KA-BLAM.. insinuations galore! Gag..

Jul 23, 2010

Rob Pattinson: Umm.. what? - Wax - Bloody face

The "Umm.. what?" I'll save for last..

I came across some more wax figures. This one is of Bella and Edward. I don't know -
just spookifies me!

Is it me? Or is it spooky? Actually looks a lot like them - except for Rob's hair. Looks like an animal crawled up his back and parked on the top of his head.

I can't TELL you how many articles I saw that had headlines like this:

Robert Pattinson Gets His Ass Kicked!

A ton of headlines suggesting that he has been beaten up, is bloody etc. But then they suck you in and say "Oh no no no - it's just for the role of Water for Elephants." The pencil paparazzi's just want to scare the beejeezuz out of everyone so people think little ole Rob has been hurt. They did the same thing when he was filming Remember Me and had a fight scene. Bloody and bruised and beaten Rob!! Oh wait, actually it was his character but HE LOOKED BLOODY. Yes people, that would be called - make up. So it's a slight exaggeration that Rob is bloody. His character was beaten up.. Rob was only "beaten up" by the make-up artist.

Ok THIS is just so disturbing I am at a loss.. Is it a spoof? I don't think so because I can't find anywhere that it says spoof. But nonetheless..

This is the FREAKY headline I found:

"Robert Pattinson's penis is news, circumcised or not."

Umm.. what.. WHAT??

Now as most of you know, I don't like to perpetuate rumors, locations, etc. when it comes to Rob (or anyone for that matter). And I do find a lot of articles I find completely offensive on behalf of him so I don't write about them because I want the article to disappear into cyber space. But after I read this article - I had to show you all how incredibly dumb, idiotic, stupid, inappropriate... get the drift? some people can be!


With the Internet almost crashing due to everyone logging on to see Robert Pattinson with his fly undone on the set of “Water for Elephants” I’d like to take this opportunity to say that even if you could see Pattinson’s penis, would you want to?

People probably say, “That R. Patz is hung like a horse.” Or, people probably say, “That R. Patz is hung like a hang nail.” By being able to see inside his pants and at his penis, if you believe one way or the other, and the truth is the opposite, it could scar you for life.

So, if you do not wish to see the picture of R. Patz with is fly undone, then don’t bother looking. There is nothing to see, not because of the fact that he could have a tiny penis, but because of the fact that there is nothing to see.

However, forget the fact that his penis might be big or small, what I want to ask is: Is Robert Pattinson circumcised?

Apparently there is a picture floating around of Rob in a costume and his fly is undone.. BIG - FREAKING - DEAL! Are you kidding me? So that picture inspires this article?? Someone talking about the mans JUNK!? Talking about size??

Then it gets worse! As I read it I think "Nooo.. they aren't going to go there.." DOH.. they did! They went there! Where you ask?? CIRCUMCISION! I have no words that will emphasize how dumb.. not to mention disrespectful that is. People, talking about circumcision is very ... FAMILIAR, no?? Is NOTHING sacred? ................... Dumb question.

How much you want to make a bet when 'news' slows down about Rob, you will start seeing headlines about what his bowel movements look like.

Jul 20, 2010

Rob Pattinson: 1963 Chevy

Hello all
I haven't written in a while because I'm so sick of the same ole story.

They are definitely dating!
It's all a hoax!!
Rob dumps Kristen.
Kristen dumps Rob.

- so I didn't feel like writing about such repetitive junk. I was afraid it would cause all of you to tear your eyes out.

The most interesting things I saw recently was the many headlines about Rob driving a 1963 Chevy Nova.... Um.. and why is that interesting? I know why! The paparazzi want him to be driving a $350,000 car so in turn they can mock him for BUYING such an expensive car! But guess what... FAIL... haha.. he's driving an American old fashioned car. Such explosive news. But WAIT WAIT.. of course they can't just report that Rob is driving a Chevy with his good friend Tom Sturridge. No no no! They must add this quote:

"There were rumors floating around that Rob was using Kristen Stewart as a beard and was really dating Tom, but that’s just the hush hush talk."

And there is the twist to get an otherwise dull story and give it life! Let's start spreading a rumor! I guess that must mean that I'm gay right? Because I went to the movies with my BFF the other day - and she's a girl... and I'M a girl.. must mean we are dating right?? (except that I am married)

Wonder what they will think of next!

STAY TUNED for more of me mocking stupid articles........

Jul 13, 2010

Rob Pattinson: Enough Kurt! Misery with Kristen?

I think this is getting out of hand. These rumors that are going around about Rob allegedly playing or possibly playing Kurt Cobain. He was never offered the part or had anything to do with the rumors going around about him playing the part. Yet, something he has no control over, Kurt's fans and his widow Courtney Love have the need to bash him to say how inappropriate he is for the part.

Quote from Courtney:
’What the f*ck! He’s totally wrong for it’

And that is just one of the comments from her and the fans. Give him a break will you? He wasn't offered it, nor did he say he WANTED to do it.

"I f*cking said no, you d*ck! I didn’t get offered it," said Pattinson in an interview with the Daily Mirror.

He finally had enough clearly. But give me a break. People giving him hell about something he had nothing to do with? AND to top it all of - Courtney Love giving criticism is a bit funny. She is the poster board advertisement for what NOT to do in life.

So all the Kurt followers can calm the F**K down. Oy..

A lovely article that is entitled:

BUZZINGS: Robert Pattinson Wants Kristen Stewart to Be Miserable

Once again .... misleading much?

I saw the interview. Very cute actually. Rob is telling the interviewer how he was constantly complaining to Kristen that he had to wear the contacts and the white make-up etc. And she would reply that it isn't a big deal.. So he joked that he was looking forward to her being a vampire and having to wear all that stuff and showing her no sympathy.. while laughing. You know, jokes between colleagues, peers! But gotta love the headline that make you think that Rob is turning into some a$$munch and praying for her misery.


Here is the interview - see for yourself.

Jul 8, 2010

Rob Pattinson: Dumping again? Biting? Oh wait secret date??

I can't help but laughing at the constant contradicting headlines such at this:


but wait! A different headline (one of many)

REVEALED: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart's secret date

So which is it online rags? Is there a big dumping? or a secret squirrel date going on?

Blurb from the 'dumping' article:

Robert Pattinson has had enough of Kristen Stewart’s negative attitude and finally called it quits, Life & Style has learned.

In fact, Life & Style can reveal that Rob broke things off with Kristen earlier this year. “When Rob was back in the U.K., he was totally fed up with Kristen and over it. He told her, ‘We’re done,’” an insider tells Life & Style. “Rob says she complains about everything and is such a downer. But when he meets up with her they start flirting again and get caught up in all the romance.” But impulsive hookups aren’t enough. Unlike his character, Edward, Rob feels he hasn’t found his soul mate and is keeping his options open.

Sigh... once again the infamous 'insider' is revealing all the secrets of Rob and his most personal situations. Once again I say Puh-leeze. During a sensitive and private time like a break up, where was this insider? Sitting in the corner taking notes? Hiding under the bed? Oh but wait - this is BULL$HITE, as are most of these online pencil paparazzi's 'sources..insiders...informant..rat' whatever you want to call these people that don't really exist. Why you ask..

Well look at this!

Blurb from Dating article:

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have never confirmed if they are an item but they have been spotted several times out in public together. Just a day after the rumored lovers grabbed dinner together at XXXXXX on Monday, July 5, the two were snapped once again on a date.

Pattinson and Stewart were spotted in Hollywood, California on Tuesday night, July 6 to catch a concert for musician Sam Bradley, who is apparently one of Pattinson's best friends from London, England. The two looked super casual with Stewart donning white T-shirt and black pants, while Pattinson sported dark jeans, a baseball hat, a blue buttoned-down shirt and a sweatshirt.

Pattinson and Stewart arrived together before Bradley, whose band took the stage in the super small venue around 9:30 P.M. A source told E! Online that the Edward Cullen and Bella Swan of "Twilight" saga were "very low-key" as they watched their friends performed. After watching the performance, the lovebirds left out the back door with some friends and got into a waiting car.

A day earlier, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were also spotted on a dinner date at Pattinson's fave XXXXXXX. An onlooker said that they seemed "very happy" and were very affectionate towards each other.

Ok, lets break this down a bit. As you all know if you are a regular reader here, I always XXXX out places they have been seen at, or where they will be to protect their privacy. Yes, you can crawl the web and find it - but I'm not going to be one of the people that is going to help alienate them by telling the world where they go, have gone, or will be.

Apparently they were out because there are a dozen or so pictures that shows them together. People surrounding them, flashing going on in their face, while they simply try to walk to a car to leave a place they were at. Someone pointed out what they were wearing as if this has some significance in our lively hood. But nonetheless - a very detailed report about hats and black jeans.

They were out grabbing a bite to eat and an 'on-looker' said they seemed 'very happy' and were affectionate towards each other. Umm.. what do 'on-lookers' expect to see? Rob leaning over a biting at her wrists? That could describe me and my best friend. We go out to eat.. I suppose look happy... and hug when we leave. That's not a report - what it really is is weird gauking at someone while they are trying to eat! So let's let them go out to dinner or lunch or a snack and not report on every time they eat a french fry. We all do this people and if they are or aren't a couple doesn't mean crap because I must emphasise - they are not.. I repeat.. are NOT Bella and Edward.

The last thing I think is really disturbing is that teens are now biting each other enough to draw blood. Um... EW! First of all, DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON! Not a good idea girls. And if you want to stay TRUE to Edwards character .. then you'd be biting bunnies cuz he's a vegetarian. So girls, guys whoever is doing this odd and yucky thing - stop, it's weird and borders on psychotic.

Jul 5, 2010

Rob Pattinson: Cooking issues? George Washington?

Happy 4th to one and all. Haven't written for a while because I haven't found anything entertaining. Right now it's all about numbers at the box office for Eclipse so the pencil paparazzi haven't been making $hit up because there is too much to talk about with the actual movie. Good news I say!

Although I have found about 15 articles that have headlines that resemble this:

Rob Pattinson can't cook!
Rob Pattinson can only make toast!

Is this newsworthy? More importantly .. is it true?

Blurb from an article:
The ‘Twilight Saga’ actor admits he often craves home-cooked food but because his culinary abilities are so limited, he has to rely on room service in hotels.

He said: “In London recently, my hotel had really good room service and I just ate the same thing every day – chicken tikka! I crave a home-cooked meal sometimes, but I only know how to make a piece of toast.”

The British star also admitted spending so much time staying in hotels has made him lazy.

He explained: “Hotels have made me more lazy, you can throw the towel on the floor and someone picks it up, and there’s a mini bar.”

Call me crazy... but he's probably being a bit tongue and cheek, sarcastic, trying to make a joke? I'm sure he can make more than toast. Most guys his age have at least mastered Mac n' Cheese. Bottom line is - who cares? Of course he doesn't have time to cook his own meals. He's on set all the time. And if you think about it; sadly how often do WE cook our own meals. No one has enough time for that anymore. I try to cook during the week. But sometimes - time doesn't agree with my choices.
So I'm sure Rob is just being funny. I recall him saying in an interview that he was allergic to vagina's too. But once again - he's makin' a funny!


I know this article is just being funny but it annoyed me. Why you ask? (or didn't ask) Only because it's so silly. I'm all for silly but this is just odd.

Headline: Robert Pattinson Great Moments in American History (PIC)

Yes, we're well aware; Robert Pattinson is, technically, British. But over the years we've come to regard him as an honorary American. And really, think about it—how much cooler would American history have been if R-Pattz had been there for its most exciting moments?

As we celebrate this great nation's birth, let's click through the photo gallery to see how America might have developed differently with the addition of a little R-Pattz.

He's not technically British - he IS British. And then there is this picture:

Not sure if you can see it - but the photoshopped his face onto Washington. Is it funny? Yeah I guess a little - but the bottom line is that writers will find anyway to get him into any story including try to connect him to the 4th of July. Just a little odd to me....
Maybe it's just me?